If only I could understand some things...2

Things are getting stranger and stranger as the days past. All I wanted was to make u understand how I feel...to let u know. I dont understand why I am labelled as the one "who expects too much". Since when did expecting a return call for the many missed calls...expecting a message for the text messages send...expecting a listening ear for the things I wanted to tell u...the things I was only able to tell u...become too much of an expectation??? If they were too much of an expectation in some possible way u can think of why did u let it happen in the first place? why did u lead me to believe that you wil be there? why bother with messages...the ones with "I will alwayz be there for u" so they are juz the nice little messages which u fwd to people meaning nothing? are they?

U said u wanted me to be the same that day...bt are u the same? I simpily dun understand. The things u say leads me to think that I am in the wrong all the time though I am nt...in any other case I would have stood up for myself or at least not let anyone else walk all over me.I fear. I fear that I am losing myself slowly.

since when did sharing things with u coz i trusted u makes me someone who cant keep things to myself...u have no idea wat ur words does at times. No idea at all. Anyways out of it all u have made me realise never get close to one, never share the closest episodes of ur life with one ...for the person may juz disappear one day or worse still has treating u as a joke all along.


I dono how else to make anything better. I am lost. Maybe its best to pratice what you said. Maybe that will improve things...As much as I wld have to stop myself when I start pressing your name in my handphone or clicking your ID on the msn. It will need some gettin used to. I just hope I dun get too used to ur dissappearance