god help me

I can’t live.
It’s been 5 days
I never stopped crying
I never started eating
I never spoke to anyone in my house.
I am not going to work again today.
I just can’t.
Yesterday my supervisor told me to told me crying.
I can’t.

I am just living for Sunday. I just want to ask him a few questions.
Then I am ready to be gone.
I wish a car or a bus takes me away.
Please something take me away.
You were my first many things…
And you were the first who left me stranded crying after being so close to me.
You wanted to pick up your life by destroying mine?

Everyone says hes a jerk. He juz left you without even bothering to make sure you are fine. He din even dicuss anything with you .he juz left. If anyone loved you, they wouldn’t do this.
She said she is shocked. This guy was the one who cldnt bear the pain when you went threading and now he is inflicting so much of pain in you.
He says you can get someone way better.

Maybe he has some good reasons for doing this so I defend him.

They say you are juz stupid and they leave me too.

But even if you had good reason. Is this how you hurt me and treat me? Like I don’t deserve any respect or humanity?

He was more than a love interest he was my closest confiding person.
I so wanted to call him yesterday and tell him wat happened.
But I know he will reject my call.
I know if he can leave just like that when I was pleading with him to message on Sunday just to tell me if he is busy or mad .,,,,to say so…. He never did though a msg wld helped me to sleep and be peaceful. He just decided on his own to stop messaging me home despite me being worried.
Will he even care what else happens in my life?
Will he even care if I am alive or dead?
I don’t think so.
I keep everything to myself and continue crying.
GOD kill me. Please. Please.