Sad....II
Well the whole talk abt losing frens juz got reminded me of u...someone whom I used to share so much with ...someone whom I used to hear things from.someone whom I so felt that
Well after all those talks and everything I finally thought I shld make all of those efforts to see u as a fren.nothing more nothing less. anyways the only reason for my confession was that I liked spendin time with and having u ard.but i tried and i am trying. bt then u arent helping in any ways possible...coz
1) if u are so very afraid that u are gonna lead me on for every word u utter..then its almost impossible to have a carefree conversation with u...i still feel ur cautiousness
2) if u arent gonna tell me anything abt the happenings...except for "things are okies" ...then likewise its so hard for me to come running to u to tell u anything
and even the little things i confide in u coz when u ask me of it..i wld think twice coz it makes me feel like i am botherin u....Seriously I dun feel like I am even ur fren at all...i feel like i am talking to a social helper ...that very feelin I hate...arent frens suppose to share things or something? its like u are there and everything bt soley literally..bt i have got no access to u
3) I dono I juz wished none of this ever happened..that u were alwayz stayed the distance fren u were...coz then i wld never have had the comfort of feelin so easy to confide in someone..then u disppear when I soo need to talk to someone abt it..so badly....its as though for the short term comfort u gave me...u took away the very little i had...makin me feel emptier than ever..coz its alwayz hard to have a comfort and loose it then never to have it....
oh wells
Well after all those talks and everything I finally thought I shld make all of those efforts to see u as a fren.nothing more nothing less. anyways the only reason for my confession was that I liked spendin time with and having u ard.but i tried and i am trying. bt then u arent helping in any ways possible...coz
1) if u are so very afraid that u are gonna lead me on for every word u utter..then its almost impossible to have a carefree conversation with u...i still feel ur cautiousness
2) if u arent gonna tell me anything abt the happenings...except for "things are okies" ...then likewise its so hard for me to come running to u to tell u anything
and even the little things i confide in u coz when u ask me of it..i wld think twice coz it makes me feel like i am botherin u....Seriously I dun feel like I am even ur fren at all...i feel like i am talking to a social helper ...that very feelin I hate...arent frens suppose to share things or something? its like u are there and everything bt soley literally..bt i have got no access to u
3) I dono I juz wished none of this ever happened..that u were alwayz stayed the distance fren u were...coz then i wld never have had the comfort of feelin so easy to confide in someone..then u disppear when I soo need to talk to someone abt it..so badly....its as though for the short term comfort u gave me...u took away the very little i had...makin me feel emptier than ever..coz its alwayz hard to have a comfort and loose it then never to have it....
oh wells
nothing is permanent.... I cant force u to be the normal fren u were...so life juz goes on..i suppose...well at least u tot me something out of it all..to be selfish...maybe not so in a bad way bt that in a way that u shld care abt urself before caring abt anyone else...coz in the end we are all individuals juz trying to live together in this unstable world.
posted by Jey at 9:53 AM
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