i write. again.

Its been some time since i wrote a blog entry, its been some time since i need to write a blog entry.
Life has been yeah kinda different. things are on my mind.

a close pal. a very close one. i dont know wat's wrong dude. seriously. The day this clears up i will feel so much better coz its not nice to feel the way i am feeling. really. Its been days, weeks, months since i talked to u and i really miss that. i miss being able to tell you everything not fearing wat you will think or say. i miss all the stupid comments you used to say and the way you made me laugh. i miss going shopping with ya as much as you never liked anything that i liked. i miss hanging out with u and talking for hours and having pizza at that place where u ordered the seafood pizza which came with all those digusting shells. I miss being able to call you at any time and talk nonsense, its been long that for some strange reasons u feel like a stranger... I really treasure u dude. I tot we will be frens that close forever. I tot our kids can be that close frens. i dono if you ever will speak to me the same. i dono if i will ever know wats wrong. but i wana thank you for everything u ever did for me dude.

for showing me how close frens can get, how much they can care
for being there all the time when i crying over someone so silly, for bringing me out of it
for trusting me all the way....even when i lied, even when they all knew i was lying, even when u finally accepted i that lied, you still stood there for me, trying to save me.
for wanting to prove them wrong, for smoking that so many ciggies that day and nite, for not sleeping that nite coz you were wondering where i was, for not going for the sch meeting that day, for speaking to him so that he wont scold me, for coming down that day so that i wont get hurt or that he wont hit me.
for laughing up abt wat a terrible lier i make instead of blowing up for what I made you go thru
for doing up my birthday just the way I wanted it , for doing it up as grandly as he was doing for her so that I wont feel left out.
for spending so much and doing so much planning so much that you din have any money left to take the bus to tuition when I was happily in Malaysia
for taking me out for dinner and walking me home though I was sooo bratty that nite
for telling me that I was special, that I was worth it, that I made a difference to u.
for all the blue flowers you got me coz I told u I have never gotten a flower from someone who meant something to me
for spending all those phone bills on me
for sharing your last dollar with me when we both were so broke

and so many more.


I miss u dude. I will do anything for u. almost anything in the world.

Another fren. I am glad we are closer as frens now dude. You are the one thing that remained constant in my life. For the four years. You make a great fren. The number of time you call me just to keep in touch, just to make me talk to you. Last year was kind of a tough year for me and you but we got over that. I hope we are frens forever dude. I am sorry for making you worry about me, I am sorry that I ignored you and refused to speak when I was troubled that once. We aren’t as close as wat we used to be. But to know that you are here, to know that I talk to everyday, to know that I will attend your yearly company functions, to know that I am one of yr closest gal pals, to know that I can call u when I am troubled makes me happy dude. It really does.


I have got more to write but I lost my thoughts. I am going to figure my washing machine.