Damn I am bloody screwed

Damn I am bloody screwed
My emotions are driving me crazy
One minute I miss him terribly
Like all in the world I wish for is to hear him for a few mins
The next mintute I am bloody mad at him for bringing me to this stage…for walking away.
For giving me the drug….little by little he gave me his love...initially I resisted and when I have fully absorbed the drug to the extend that I can’t live without…he took it away totally all so suddenly. That anger and hurt is killing me.

The next minute I am thinking ..what is the point of feeling anything coz when he can throw away a person he knew for two years…a person who loved him like crazy…why am I sitting here and crying after a person who just destroyed me.

Because it all hurts.

Everyone tells me you will get over him…you will find someone better..
Why don’t anyone bloody understand that its LOVE…it’s a hurt LOVE.
I don’t tell anyone I love him within days of being with someone but when I say I love someone…I really mean it like hell. It’s a love that grew within me for two years…what do u all want me to do? Throw it away? Its not even about the love anymore..its about the hurt love…..the one that he threw it away for himself.
Do you know how it feels like loving someone slowly bit by bit for 2 and half years….when you love him every single bit of him..he comes and tells you..i cant do this..i need to pick myself up…and disappears from your life? I do.

Bt I am not suppose to feel this way…don’t act so needy….they say….show him that you can live without him….oh I am so sorry I forgot to realize that I am starring in a drama or something…..what in the world…I am bloody hurt and all that matters is how I come across as? What the world sees me as? So if I pretend that I don’t even care about the whole thing, then its perfect?
Yeah I know he doesn bloody care…bt I do okie…I cant help it..i do…it meant the world to me….so I care…my love was true so I care….okie?!