happenings

This week I am in the office with nothing much to do. A lot of seniors went up to my manager to take me out….but she always told them she has got important things for me. HAHA and all I have been doing these two days is to help her plan the whole team’s dinner on Friday. Which is actually I kinda fun. One day I shall get myself into event management. For now I shall just slack and meet my old frens for lunch since I am at the office. I am starting to like my manager…I mean she is still the mean person but I guess the longer I am with someone I naturally tend to be appreciate for who they are…so I think shes quite perfect now. =) and I never want to leave her.
A lot of people who I ran into at office (those I have not seen for some time) are alarmed at my weight loss. Its almost embarrassing when they grab and ask me what happened to me. Actually I am kinda worried about my own weight loss. I can see my own ribcage. Hiaz but I can’t do anything about ….my appetite was never great by itself so when I am depressed…its so much worse.
A lot of people have been complimenting and flirting …including the French senior who keeps asking me out. Hmm I am kinda surprised. When I was with you know who, he always told me I was pretty but I thought he was saying coz he had to or that’s what guys tell gals they are with. And I always brushed off any other attention I got from anyone else. But now since I am not with anyone I am still very adverse to this kinda attention. … compliments and everything…its suprising, its pleasant but I think they are just lies…people offering me lifts and buying lunch and offering to accompany me to places…how long are you all gonna last? A few months? Someday you will hate me and none of this will be done..then what is even the point? I have to suffer then....like how i am doing right now. Because when you are used to the love and its gets ripped away from you..the pain Is just too terrible. So just stay away people. I am done with you all. You guys prolly think I am the sweet little thing …but I guess I will turn nasty and arrogant sometime so yeah better stay away from me. Plus I can’t bring myself to love another person…no matter how much he has hurt me.
I just wanna be alone. Go home. Watch movies and sleep. In my silent silent world…I can cry…I can whine …I can do anything without pretending to be happy and cheerful. Cause its tiring to do so. Okay I am going home now.