emotions.

i.never.knew.i.cld.have.emotions.so.tortured.
i.love.him.like.crazy
i.hate.him.for.wat.he.did.to.me...and.for.wat.i.am.going.through.each.day....
why.did.he.have.to.choose.me....
why.cldnt.we.just.be.frens.from.the.start...
or.together.forever..

when.i.am.out..i.pretend.and.we.all.laugh.and.smile..
when.i.go.home..everynite.till.tonite..i.cry...

its.funny...how.i.wld.give.the.world.for.him....like.really...like.anything...
i.will.give.anything.in.the.world.just.to.hear.him
but.yet..i.am.not.allowed.to
i.guess.thats.the.thing.about.love...
it.has.to.be.two.sided...
but.its.damn..painful.to.live.with.the.memories.

memories.fade....they.say..
bt.you.know..i.think.mine.wasnt.infatuation.....mine.wasnt..temporary..
its.very.hard.to.explain.
i.really.saw.perfection.
that.only.happens.when.you.are.in.love.
and.when.i.am.in.love...i.never.let.go
maybe.thats.why.i.am.dying.here.
i.dont.think.the.love.will.fade...i.dont.think.the.pain.will.fade.

how.can.it.be.so.painful?
i.hate.you.
for.leaving.me.like.this.
for.not.knowing.wat.is.happening.
for.hurting.me.like.hell.
how.cld.you.do.everything.that.you.did?
why.dont.you.just.kill.me.instead?
how.long.more.will.i.last.like.this?

yet.i.have.to.bottle.everything.up.and.pretend.damn.