sulky

is being missed.

a boring boring day

today work was boring...my senior is at the EY officey
so is juz me and my a2...so we are kinda pretty slackish.
i've got abt 3 hours more before I leave for the dance rehersals....which isnt anything enticing...except for the frens u get to meet there...

bt seriosuly i think there cld be better management with the dance
like why cant we juz leave out the sept batch and proceed on with the dance practice...wats the point in forcing so many people to learn the same dance when the stage can only hold that much.
why cant they be put in charge of other things unless of coz if they really really wanna dance.
argh

u'll never understand

u mite think i am juz playing ard

u mite think i am juz listening to others

u mite think i am confused



bt you wil never understand how it feels.



...when yr fren tells u to leave him now for his frens mite speak badly of u if u ever had to leave (my fren, that doesn bother me for i know i never wanted this for fun)

...when yr mum gives you the look of i know where and who u have been with, while we sufer here in misery (my mom, i wanna be there...i wanna be feel close to u all again)

...when yr fren tells u, u have no future in him
(my fren, wat if i do?)

...when u can no longer confide in anyone
(my heart wants someone to talk to desperately)

...when yr fren is convinced hes bad and keeps attempting to "Save"u.from...the.watever."harm"..he.sees....
(my.fren....wat.if.u.are.utterin.nonsense

i.feel.so.lonely.now....none.except.him.....

bt.even.that.isnt.anywhere.near.normal.now

bt.then.i.shldnt.be.depending.on.anyone....


i.wanna.be.
without.any.worries
be.with.my.parents
hang.out.with.my.frens
laugh.and.say.stupid.things.
be.as.carefree.as.i.ever.was.


the.stranger.appeared.again....this.time.with.a.bar.of.chocolate.
he.passed.a.drink.and.offered.to.talk...
i.din.coz.he.was.stranger....bt.yeah.that.was.sweet.

i.hope.hes.safe..its.been.an.hr.

all strangled up

I hope hes safe

every moment i am hoping

every once in a while i call and check.

feelin.terrible

I.am.sorry.
I.felt.terrible.the.whole.nite
i.cldnt.sleep.
my.eyes.burn
my.neck.still.hurts.


it.was.juz.a.dress.why.cldnt.i.just.shutup.and.accept.it?
wat.in.the.world.is.wrong.with.me?
i.hate.myself.

tears

i.nearly.inflicted.pain.on.myself.if.not.for.the.message

and.i.tot.only.silly.stupid.gals.do.that.kinda.thing

i.cant.take.this.anymore...

i.need.help.

the.unknowns

today.was.a.scary.day....its.not.his.fault.at.all....sometimes.i.wish.we.were.frens...i.think.things.will.be.so.much.better..happier
if.we.were.frens....maybe.he.wldnt.have.avoided.my.calls...
maybe.he.wld.haf.been.there....
maybe.i.wld.have.felt.better....

bt.as.things.happen...most.times...i.think.i.am.the.wrong.one.....not.the.rite.one.
i.am.sure.theres.someone.out.there.with.a.perfect.family-not.the.ones.who.strive.to.survive
i.am.sure.theres.someone.whos.more.understanding-not.the.one.who.cries.all.the.time.and.uses.harsh.tones.
i.dont.even.feel.like.blogging.any.more..i.give.up

i.hate.my.life...the.contant.pain....the.contant.living.and.dying........the.constant.uncertain-nities

why.am.i.here?what.purpose.do.i.serve?

messed.up

terribly