stop.really

the.one.who.you.loved.with.your.life.hurts.you
your.fren.hurts.you
everyone.is.fighting.in.the.house.
bt...listen.heart.....the.whole.world.can.hurt.you...and.u.can.think.they.are.bastards..but.the.world.is.like.that
if.nonone.hurt.each.other..the.world.willl.be.a.happier.place..bt.its.not.like.that.
its.not.a.fair.world.really.
but.remember.noone.cares.abt.you...and.you.dont.trust.those.who.do.now....so.if.you.dont.stop.crying..noone.is.there.to.stop.it
so..please.stop.it...stop.

i.hate.everyone.
everyone.
i.hate.my.life

who.was.i.kidding?

yeah.who.was.i.kidding?
i.cried.for.a.total.of.three.hours.for.now...
i.dono.why.i.keep.tearing.like.this
but.it.bloody.hurts.
really.

but.i.cannot.let.the.world.see.my.tears
i.cannot.let.the.world.see.my.hurt
i.need.to.pretend.like.everything.is.alright.
...
damn
damnit
please.stop.me.from.crying.stop.my.heart.from.bleeding.

Hmmm

And i know it sounds nuts that…I am standing there and defending a guy who left me ..who isn’t even there for me now. But you know that’s not the point…the point is the act is wrong. Therefore I really cannot tolerate what happened on Saturday and therefore I wont. None of you know him as I do.

I have been thinking a lot about stuff that is happening. And the questions will never end. You know stuff like why he suddenly left….and for what reason….why he doesn bother to reply anything as though I did a major crime…and what do I do with my love when someone exits your life…how can a guy so nice ever have the heart to do this? Why can’t things have happened in a better way? Why does ash have to make things bad…But I guess I will never get the answers coz the answers are not in my control….. as much as it hard to live without a peaceful mind. I don’t have a choice. I am forced. Like’s like that….hmm that’s quite a sad life.

But anyways I think at the end of the day what matters is what you are. So I am just going to be a good person. I will try to bury the hurt within me. I will talk to my mom more…I will be there for her…I will do good stuff to people and be nice. I won’t hurt anyone. I wont say I wont cry …there will be moments that I tear just like that….there will be hours that I cried myself to sleep. Coz it hurts so I guess its okay to cry.

Most of the old A2s got promoted to seniors this time round. That means all of us will have equal chance of promotion next year. So I am going to try and work very hard to become a senior next year and leave soon after.

And I have a got a brand new expensive phone sitting next to me. I am so afraid I am going to break it. I will try to take care of it as it is so berry expensive. I need to go buy all kinds of protection for it.

And I will turn to music to ease my pain. That reminds I need to buy a new hardisk to store all my songs that I have downloaded and keep away all the all photos we took so that I wont keep looking at it.

And yayee on Thursday I am going for a stock take after a long time

why do i feel so down...hiaz

alone

Just leave me alone. Really
I thought my friends were the greatest things on earth.
I thought you people were the sweetest ones.
Now I don’t seem to like anyone
Maybe I should just be alone for a while.

S calls me and asks me. How are things? Dude I don’t want to talk to you. Just get out of my life. Remember how you ruined things for me at one point in time….and whenever I asked you about it… you always denied making those calls. You know…then I still had some trust in you…coz….you were my fren..coz I was close to your family…i cldnt see why you wld anything to harm me…after everything that you have done for me….now I don’t know…I think in the name of over protectiveness you just had fun…

If you bothered about me …my real happiness…if you were decent…you wldnt have done that but you still deny it but I don’t trust you anymore…

I don’t trust anyone anymore.

I had enuff of everything

I just want to be myself. I just want to be a good person and do good stuff. I just want to make people who deserve to be happy happy. That’s all.

Too far

I think this time you have brought too far. Way too far ash.
You know ash.. You are one my closest male frens. I know you like me in a romantic way. You know I never did. I did not even do a single tiny thing to show you that I was in interested in any way.

In these five years I have liked two other guys … you have liked several other gals.
The first one …I dint tell you much about him….the two years I was with him…the time we parted..i din tell you anything..i don’t know why..i juz din feel like talking about it to you…. Bt you have haunted me for the longest time about not sharing my life with you. I really felt bad ash…I wanted to be more open with you.
You know when the second guy came into the picture….you were one of the reasons among others…why I din want to get attached to him so fast..i thought it might hurt you…I thought it will be better if things happened slower. I hurt the one I liked coz you were my fren and I din want to hurt you.
About two years past…and you knew I liked him….but suddenly things screw up and we part and I am bloody upset dude… I have never loved anyone like that…I have never been so close to a person like that.
When the person you love…and the person who madly loves you or loved you once…doesn reply your msges…gets irritated at the sound of your voice, suddenly stop messaging you home…texts a message and disappears from your life. It hurts dude….hurts big time. You cannot imagine the hurt. But what did to me is what he did to me. Its none of your business ash.

You called me one day while I was crying and I tell you wat happen..

Its been about a month…my pain never lessened….and you never made things better. From day 1…I have been hearing….negative comments about his looks and my tate in guys blah blah. You know I hated you saying those things. I have told you off a hundred times. Yet you call all your frens and tell them that I like ugly guys and compare him with you. You made facebook comments about him. You know I have told you to stop a hundred times. Yesterday at your house party….in front of your so many guests..you did it again. I know it cannot be coz you were drunk….coz you do it even when you are not drunk.You bloody pissed me off this time. You have crossed your limit. I don’t think this is fair for him at all.

You have got no right…no absolute right to talk abt him. And you know he is the most beautiful guy I have ever seen. Maybe he is not perfect. Maybe he hurt me big time. I dono why he did wat he did to me….But still as a person putting aside what has happened. I think he is a gem of a person. A person of character. A person of passion. A person who never fails to lend a helping hand. A person who brought about so much of depth in me. A person who made me realize a lot of things about me and made me a person far better than what I was a few years ago. And you have no right to talk about him. No right at all.

I am gonna move away from you ash….as a friend I thought you will be there as person to lean on…to get me out of my misery …I never knew you will hurt me so much more. One day I will show you what a gem he is…. When my world is falling apart..why do you pull it apart futher ash? I have lost a best fren in him….why do you have to make me loose you as well? Why hurt a soul who is already bloody hurt?

Hurts.damn.

Hurts.damn.
Yesterday.during.a.galfren.mentioned....guys.are.very.emotional….when.they.want.a.girl.at.that.time..they.will.do.anything.for.it.at.the.moment….but.not.later.on…..she.said.gals.were.different…even.if.they.dont.like.the.guy.at.first….they.wil.get.hooked.on.to.the.guy..forever.later……she.was.speaking.about.her.recent.experience…
And.that.mirrored.my.thoughts…as.i.saying…was.ohhh.exactly…in.my.mind.


Damn.my.heart.feels.very.wounded…very.much.in.pain..
i.wish.there.was.something.to.remove.it...........anything.

Thank you all of you

Thank you all of you
Seriously
I know I have been like a dead soul.
I know for the past few weeks you guys have been there.
I wish I could show it my face.
But I can’t coz it hurts too badly.

Coz I can’t believe how love can be so temporary
Coz I cant believe he can jus walk away
Coz I can’t believe two years can become nothing the next day
Coz I don’t know what the problem was.
Coz he texted me a breakup message and never looked back

But then again there is nothing I can do but look at it in a wonder so yeah. Damn
I guess I fell too hard..
Before I fell in love with him I liked him too much to move away
When I fell in love with him. I liked him so much more than any thing else in the world. Really. I would have traded anything in the world for him.
Now that he hurt me so bad….i cant believe he cld even do this to me.
I remember those times where he said he will die if he din know I was home, those times where he said he will never want to see me hurt…whatever happened to those?
Nights are painful….sleepless with the pain in the heart…. I sit at the same place where I used to talk to him on the phone at nights.
Everything hurts so fresh so bad

Today I got another performance bonus…I don’t even know why they bother giving me that….i hardly worked these three weeks. Actually if not for the pain in my heart and my mood to cry all the time…the weeks wld have been good ones…I have become real close to my manager…I have been involved in planning meeting and closing meetings. And she kinda trusts me……although I am disaster.

Today I got the letter for the 2k bonus and my fren asked….so you shld be feeling a lot better…to which I replied no…..and he said you rather be with him then get your bonus..i said yes….he said I was unbelievable haha..
But you know to buy him something with that money and make him happy would have made be happier…

Why are you kidding yourself? You know he doesn bloody care abt you…if he did he wld have done things a lot different…..he wld have cared about your feeling…he wldnt have sent you the typical breakup msg….he wld have done all those things he said all those times… he wldnt have left you so abruptly and never contacted you. He argh
Is he really the same person I knew? Or was he this person that I never knew?
Why are things so sad?

Damn I am bloody screwed

Damn I am bloody screwed
My emotions are driving me crazy
One minute I miss him terribly
Like all in the world I wish for is to hear him for a few mins
The next mintute I am bloody mad at him for bringing me to this stage…for walking away.
For giving me the drug….little by little he gave me his love...initially I resisted and when I have fully absorbed the drug to the extend that I can’t live without…he took it away totally all so suddenly. That anger and hurt is killing me.

The next minute I am thinking ..what is the point of feeling anything coz when he can throw away a person he knew for two years…a person who loved him like crazy…why am I sitting here and crying after a person who just destroyed me.

Because it all hurts.

Everyone tells me you will get over him…you will find someone better..
Why don’t anyone bloody understand that its LOVE…it’s a hurt LOVE.
I don’t tell anyone I love him within days of being with someone but when I say I love someone…I really mean it like hell. It’s a love that grew within me for two years…what do u all want me to do? Throw it away? Its not even about the love anymore..its about the hurt love…..the one that he threw it away for himself.
Do you know how it feels like loving someone slowly bit by bit for 2 and half years….when you love him every single bit of him..he comes and tells you..i cant do this..i need to pick myself up…and disappears from your life? I do.

Bt I am not suppose to feel this way…don’t act so needy….they say….show him that you can live without him….oh I am so sorry I forgot to realize that I am starring in a drama or something…..what in the world…I am bloody hurt and all that matters is how I come across as? What the world sees me as? So if I pretend that I don’t even care about the whole thing, then its perfect?
Yeah I know he doesn bloody care…bt I do okie…I cant help it..i do…it meant the world to me….so I care…my love was true so I care….okie?!

damn

it hurts.
real bad.

and its real unfair
that he left me like this
prolly he doesn even care
coz everything only matters when he is in love
then he wld have all the time in the world to be with someone
when he is no longer in love with the person
out the person goes.
and he doesn even care if the person died from the pain.
wow
it makes me real angry...
i guess i was just stupid to have him fool around with me
i guess i was just stupid to believe in his love.

argh

i.saw.the.facebook.from.the.fren
and.i.am.not.happy.at.alll
why.does.he.have.to.keep.doing.this...
why cant he juz leave me alone.

i guess i shld keep the hurt within myself. no more facebook comments. i need to grow up
i can't be like a kid all time. i cant express myself all the time...when i am hurt i cant cry when i happy i cant smile...when i am mad i cant sulk in front of other people. i guess i have to learn to keep certain things within myself.these are valuable lessons that i learnt.

and i need to pull myself tog
i cant keep thinking why it happened....damn
really its been two weeks bt i can still hear him say...i dont want you....damn
love hurts man. big time.
okie okie quit it ....just go listen to songs...then it will be bedtime try to sleep..okie...please....i need to stop crying.

stranded

Do you remember dude….two years ago about this time?
When you called me crying because you were so hurt and so scared to go home coz someone saw you with your ex and it was late in the night and you were seating by the benches near your house
I was so worried for you dude…I just wanted you to be okay…to take away that pain.
I am in the same amount hurt now dude..maybe even worse of.
Hoe can you leave me stranded in pain unable to move?
Is that all I meant to you?

=(

I wonder why men are such heartless creatures
How can they inflict so much of pain and just leave you to die
And walk away.
Yeah maybe he wants me out of the picture to get me out of his system and continue with his life like nothing happened.
But the pain he caused will never leave my system. Never
Then what do I do?

yeah i can't do anything i juz have to live with the pain...live a painful life.

coz he calls the shots.

Terrible.

I.was.feeling.really.down.
i.dono…this.is.my.worst.holiday.
for.some.reason.my.hurt.seem.to.have.deepened.over.the.week
i.really.really.need.to.find.a.way.to.live.
i.don’t.want.to.talk.to.my.frens.anymore…they.keep.saying.hes.a.jerk…and.that.hes.prolly.hanging.out.with.a.gal…now.they.say….why.are.you.crying.over.him.….i.get.defensive.and.tell.them.to.stop.calling.him.a.jerk…and.stop.saying.things…..i.mean..yeah..maybe.i.feel.like.wat.he.did.to.me.was.jerkish…bt.nobody.else.has.any.right.to.call.him.that….
so.i.see.R.online…i.thought.i.could.talk.to.R
but…R.right.at.the.beginning.of.the.conversation.started.saying….keep in mind that i am his fren….i.was.puzzled..and.i.asked.him…how.does.you.being.his.fren.matter….and.he.said
coz.he.will.be.biased.and.he.said.he.din.understand..how.i.cld.gruduate.without.understanding.all.these…okayyyyy….
for.a.moment..i.was.taken.back…i.tot..i.was.his.fren.too..i.mean.maybe.not.a.close.onbt.still.a.fren…and.the.he.goes.on.to.say…just want to set the parameters.and.some.of.the.things.i.say.will.be.skewed..and.i.dont.wan’t.things.to.get.too.confused…and.then.he.says.everyone.gets.upset.about.someone.sometime…hmm..now..i.really.dono.wat.he.was.talking.about…maybe.He.told.R.something…about.me..thats.why.R.is.speaking.like.this….damn…i.din.feel.like.speaking.to.him.anymore…i.wasnt.going.to.bitch.about.him.to.R…i.juz.wanted.to.talk.about.my.upsettness.anyways…R.says.he.had.to.go.for.dinner…i.was.glad.to.let.him.go….i.wonder.what.he.told.R…now.ii.dont.feel.like.talking.to.R….maybe.it.was.my.studity.in.wanting.to.talk.to.his.fren….i.wonder.why.he.can’t.tell.me.the.problems…bt.he.tells.it.a.fren.instead…i.wonder.wat.is.so.hard.about.communicating.to.me….maybe.if.i.knew.wat.was.wrong....this.wldnt.have.happened.in.the.first.place..maybei.will.be.less.hurt……coz..the.fact.that.he.is.hurt.coz.of.me…hurts.me.so.much.than.my.own.hurt…maybe.i.did.too.many.things.to.hurt.him…i.wish.i.cld.rewind.the.clock….coz.i.am.really.sorry…and.i.have.grown.up….damn..screw.it.man.i.am.not.even.gona.try.to.talk.to.anyone.anymore..the.best.person…whom.i.can.talk.to.is.him….bt…its.such.a.pity…that.its.him..that..the.whole.thing.was.about....and.i.am.not.allowed.to.talk.to.him
now.i.feel.horrible.abt.wat.R.said.i.dont.think.things.are.going.to.be.the.same.between.R.and.me…….and.tired.of.looking.for.people.to.talk.to….i.need.a.counselor…..why.is.life.so.damn.painful

Going, Trying, But Mostly Crying

I honestly don't know why I still care
I can still see you but your obviously not there
This situation is not the same as before
The reason why is because now I want you more
I promise I will still try to disappear from life.I will try
But I can't guarantee that I won't cry
When I said I'd love you forever, it wasn't a lie

Can you even imagine?

Can you even imagine?

What it's like to be in pain

How it feels to lie awake

Feeling angry, tired and bruised

To have no friend to turn to

Filled with rage I can't release

Can you even imagine?

What it's like to know such pain

How it feels to wake each morning

With a past I can't understand

To live a constant nightmare

That no else can parallel

hmm

as i look at my facebook photos .i wonder why he never liked me putting up pics of him on my profile..
i wonder why he never wanted to be associated with me recently..
i wonder why he suddenly broke off.
and why he is so keen is chasing me over instead of working on pick himself up
so many questions...
the more i think abt it
the more i dont buy his reason for wanting to part....

=(

i feel like crying now.
i miss him terribly as much i hate him for what he has done to me
it kills me to know that i will never hear him sing on the phone
never hear him burb
will never get to watch movies with him
will never get to see him go to sleep on the phone.
i wanna tell him so many things...bt he is not around.
why dudey
why did you have to decide to go away from me?
cldnt we have spoke abt it and worked something out...
i need you i miss you

In this world

I think I am not suited to live in this world
I don’t like this world
Where people hurt one another
Where people swear at each other
Where people sleep around and make out with anybody and not only with their sole partner.
Where some of us have very unhappy families
Where innocence and purity no longer exists.
I feel very out of place.
I don’t want to change with the world.
I feel like the world has no place for me.

reflections

Someone told me today that I should reflect on my recent love life
And I shld not let people play with my feelings.
And that I was stupid enough to fall in love with a kid

And those words hurt

Coz how was I to know that people will play with my feeling
Coz I trusted him.
Did he really play with my feeling and went off?
All this happened cause he was younger than me?
I never saw him as a kid …that thought itself disgusts me.
Hmm
What I am suppose to reflect on?
I don’t even know what happened.
How to prevent the same thing from happening? When I don’t know what is wrong.
He din say anything much…..except about picking himself up
And also he doesn’t like to talk about things so he isn’t gona talk about this matter either.
But dude this isn’t about yourself.
When you involve another person with you..you are responsible for the person as well.
People told you to look after yourself first.
But people dint tell you, you can enter someone’s life and leave as and when you deem fit without a proper reason or rhyme.
People dint tell you, you can mess up another person’s life to look after yours.
It doesn make any sense dude.
This is me dude. You know how painful it is dude.
And just cause you claim to feel the pain as well. It doesn’t justify my pain.
For you when you come home at night and sit at your computer, you feel the emptiness.
I feel the hurt, the pain, the tears, the cheated feeling, unanswered questions running around my mind all the time dude. And all this because of you.

i.feel.so.lonely

you.have.your.frens...your.family
bt.i.put.you.in.front.of.everyone....now.you.are.gone...i.feel.so.empty...
i.dont.want.to.sleep..
i.cant...
wat.do.i.do?
god...please..someone...anyone...help.me...
i.am.dying...
please..i.beg.u.people.

a.loser

painful.i.cant.do.this.

if.i.can.see.you.for.ten.mins...maybe.i.can.live.for.a.week?..please?i.beg.you...i.will.give.u.anything.you.want...

another.day.of.not.working
i.dont.know.wat.to.do.
i.wldnt.be.suprised.if.they.sack.me
i.loved.him.more.than.anything.else....i.trusted.him.more.than.anything.else.
he.was.my.everything.
bt.he.walked.away.
what.do.i.do.now?...
i.dont.want.to.sleep..i.will.die.trying.to.sleep...

i.am.wreck..i.badly.need.him...why.did.you.away?i.will.give.you.anything...anything.at.all.
please.let.me.live...
how.can.u.hurt.me.and.leave.....how.can.live.knowing.someone.whom,you.loved.once.is.dying.because.of.u.
i.felll.in.love.with.ur.for.your.nice-ness
i.never.knew.you.wld.leave.me.so.much.of.cruelty.
never.

jerk

I can’t believe what a jerk he is
The more I think about the more fury builds in me
The more hurt I feel.

He tells me to get over him and come back.
What does he take me for?
It is love man.
How can I love you when you want and not love you when you don’t want?
And now I am hurt and torn and all you can tell me is…..it will hurt lesser later on.
How about doing something about the hurt?
There is nothing that can be done coz he says breakups are like that?
so you will breakup coz breakups are normal?
And the reason is he is lost
So what I am? A victim of your lost emotions?
You can’t destroy someone just cause you are lost.
You think this is short term pain…you have scared me for life.
Do you know how damn unfair that is?
I can’t believe him.
He can win events and have fish co when I haven ate anything much for a whole week.
And he says he never lets anything affect his life….yeah rite then how about the time when you were still in love with me (if that was love in the first place) and just coz I don’t explain my emotions you used to tell me I cant do anything. So what happened to it now?
You spoke about marriages; you spoke of so many things. Whatever happened to it now?
Everywhere I go, I see him. The subway at tampines, the fish n co at suntec, the train rides, the 969 busstop even the carpark. Damn.

You came in to my pure life, thought me love and desire and stripped me away of it and walked away. I will never forgive you for that. You will realize the pain when the same thing happens to you one day.

can't

i dono why i do this to myself.
i took my phone and read my old messages he sent to me
calling me baby and sweetheartand gorgeous...and askin if i had dinner and lunch ...or if i was home. and that he misses me
and i broke into tears again.
please i cannot take it.
if i can only have one wish i will wish to reverse time.
kill me . i cant do this.

DAMN

Woa the pain keeps making me cry.
I ignore everyone else around here.
I just keep crying.
I wanted him so bad.
He tells me to get over him to meet him.
How did he get over me so fast?
And he says he is no better.
If both of us are suffering then why are we even parting?
I don’t really understand many things.
I think its pretty unfair that I am pushed to this situation.

I mean if he wanted to break up with me I think there should be indications. There should be signs that shows things are not working. I never saw any.
He prollly built up over the months and suddenly decided to break the news to me. And then what do I do? Cry in pain is what I am doing.
Its okies to have emotional depth but how can allow his emotional side to affect me and wants me to be removed as the only resolution to the problem he is facing?
How come he doesn want to work around the problem? How come he wants me to be removed even before he starts working on his issues?
I am so confused and gone.
I keep thinking of the wondering memories we had
The pictures we took at snow city.
The kisses we shared
The moments we spent together from the time be packed apple juice and bread and his laptop to the beach to the watch the movie on his laptop to time we watched kandasamy and he bought me a beautiful bag. Damn. Bloody hell. Wat life is this?

Screwed

I am back from the meet up.
I was scared to go for it.
Cause I know going for it means it ending it although he already decided that on Monday.
I dono I thought I will get answers.
As to why he behaved like that on Sunday and Monday but I got none
As to why he never told me about the way he felt till last Monday and why he kept quiet all the time but I got none.
As to why he never bothered to initiate a meet up after that message. It just broke my heart to know that he was busying attending events when a few hours of time could have made a world of a difference to me.
Everything just came to “I don’t know” or “I need to pick myself up” which was somehow related to me being with him.
It doesn make sense to me. It seems like a strange reason.
I dono to feel anger that he screwed my life up or to feel scared for him coz hes lost.
Damn why did he come into my life
Why did I ever ever love him.
How am I going to survive?
Why am I suffering so much more coz he is lost?
He says he never lets anything affect his life but he affected everything of my life.
How can he say he loves me yet cause so much of pain to me? He says heart breaks are like that. But that does not justify anything.
It so painful that I am moving away from the guy I loved for a reason that I don’t know.
I need death.

heart.broken.

god help me

I can’t live.
It’s been 5 days
I never stopped crying
I never started eating
I never spoke to anyone in my house.
I am not going to work again today.
I just can’t.
Yesterday my supervisor told me to told me crying.
I can’t.

I am just living for Sunday. I just want to ask him a few questions.
Then I am ready to be gone.
I wish a car or a bus takes me away.
Please something take me away.
You were my first many things…
And you were the first who left me stranded crying after being so close to me.
You wanted to pick up your life by destroying mine?

Everyone says hes a jerk. He juz left you without even bothering to make sure you are fine. He din even dicuss anything with you .he juz left. If anyone loved you, they wouldn’t do this.
She said she is shocked. This guy was the one who cldnt bear the pain when you went threading and now he is inflicting so much of pain in you.
He says you can get someone way better.

Maybe he has some good reasons for doing this so I defend him.

They say you are juz stupid and they leave me too.

But even if you had good reason. Is this how you hurt me and treat me? Like I don’t deserve any respect or humanity?

He was more than a love interest he was my closest confiding person.
I so wanted to call him yesterday and tell him wat happened.
But I know he will reject my call.
I know if he can leave just like that when I was pleading with him to message on Sunday just to tell me if he is busy or mad .,,,,to say so…. He never did though a msg wld helped me to sleep and be peaceful. He just decided on his own to stop messaging me home despite me being worried.
Will he even care what else happens in my life?
Will he even care if I am alive or dead?
I don’t think so.
I keep everything to myself and continue crying.
GOD kill me. Please. Please.

you.have.made.me.fall.in.love.with.u.so.madly
and.you.juz.walked.out.of.it.so.peacefully

how.cld.you.ever.do.that?

my.love.for.u.got.so.much.stronger.over.the.eight.months...
that.i.wld.have.loved.you.even.if.you.killed.me..
and.all.you.can.say.is.nothing.got.better.over.the.eight.months...
when.alot.of.things.did..
maybe.if.you.opened.up...
or.expressed.you.eomtions.or.feelings...things.will.be.greater.

my.tears

and.he.says.he.wants.to.isolate.himself.and.pick.himself.up.
and.that.he.doesn.have.the.strength.to.focus.on.anything.in.his.life.

so.its.juz.fair.to.leave.as.and.when.you.want?
isolate.yourself?
and.party.everyweek.
its.more.like.you.want.to.juz.move.away.from.me

if.he.really.sat.me.down.and.explained.things.and.said.we.cld.part.for.a.while.to.take.breather...
maybe..a.semester...or.forever.for.the.following.reasons....i.wld.have.appreciated.it..i.wouuld.have.respected.you..
not.throwing.a.suprise..and.leaving.me.tears.

you.may.have.many.frens..esp.now.that.you.are.so.famous...but..wat.about.me....you.were.the.closest.one.to.me
and.you.are.not.even.around.to.bother.ease.the.horrible.pain.u.are.causing.

you.prolly.never.had.the.same.measure.of.love.i.had.for.you
else.you.will.never.have.done.this.to.me.

i'll.never.forgive.him

I.will.never.forgive.for.wat.he.did.to.me
the.hurt...the.way.he.left.
the.way.he.din.bother.to.pick.up.the.phone.or.msg.when.he.knew.how.much.it.meant.to.me
how.he.thinks.i.should.msg.him.home.two.years.back..but.now.when.he.doesn.feel.like.it.he.doesn.have.to.

the.way.he.decides.everything...
he.chases.he.enjoys.he.leaves...
once.he.thinks.time.is.up.everything.ends..and.he.gets.on.with.his.life.
how.nice.

did.he.forget.i.wil.be.destroyed.by.it?
did.he.think.it.was.a.joke.when.i.tried.to.talk.to.me.abt.issues.so.many.times.before?
did.he.even.care.how.miserable.i.am?
prolly.not.
what.a.jerk.
even.when.he.decides.to.end.it.all...he.doesn.feel.like.speaking..an.sms..justifies.everything.
and.i.tot.he.was.nice......like.how.all.his.frens.see.him..i.tot.he.was.the.most.amazing.person.on.earth.
thanks.for.everything.dude.

heee

noone is perfect untill you fall in love with them.

so very true! =)

i can't wait to see him

i can't wait for his hug

i can't wait plan something up for his special day.

so very excited!